Like every parent raising kids in the digital age, I wanted to keep my sons safe online. So, I did what every “good” tech-conscious parent does—I set up parental controls.
I blocked explicit content.
I limited screen time.
I monitored their online activity.
And for a while, I thought I had won.
They were safe, right? They couldn’t access anything inappropriate. They couldn’t talk to strangers. They couldn’t stay up all night on their phones.
Except… they could. And they did.
Here’s What I Got Wrong
I assumed that parental controls were a complete solution. That once I set them up, I could exhale and relax, knowing my kids were protected.
But here’s the reality: Parental controls are like training wheels—they help, but they won’t stop a determined kid from riding off on their own.
My mistake? I relied on technology instead of teaching resilience.
How My Sons Outsmarted the System
Let me tell you—teens are resourceful.
• Changing Device Clocks to Reset Limits – One of my sons figured out that by manually adjusting the time on his phone, he could trick the system into resetting his daily screen time limits.
• Using a VPN to Bypass Restrictions – When I blocked certain websites, they found ways around it. A quick search on YouTube (ironically, still allowed) showed them exactly how to use a VPN to access anything they wanted.
• Borrowing a Friend’s Device – No phone? No problem. They’d just use a friend’s unlocked device to access blocked content.
• Finding Hidden Chat Platforms – I thought I had locked down social media. Turns out, online games, Google Docs, and even innocent-looking “study” apps had built-in chat features I never even noticed.
It didn’t take long for me to realize: The problem wasn’t that I hadn’t set up the “right” controls—it was that I was fighting the wrong battle.
Why Parental Controls Aren’t Enough
Parental controls create a false sense of security. They’re helpful, but they’re not a substitute for real education.
Here’s what I learned the hard way:
✅ Kids will always find a way around tech restrictions. If they want access to something badly enough, they will Google it, ask a friend, or experiment until they figure it out.
✅ Parental controls don’t teach decision-making. My sons learned how to bypass my restrictions—but did they learn why those restrictions were in place? Not really.
✅ The online world changes too fast. New platforms, new chat apps, new threats. There was no way I could keep up with every loophole they could exploit.
I had been playing defense—trying to block access, trying to limit exposure.
But what I really needed to do was play offense.
What Actually Worked: Raising Cyber-Resilient Kids
Instead of just blocking content, I started having real conversations with my kids about why online safety matters.
Here’s what actually helped:
1. I Made Cyber Awareness a Normal Conversation
Instead of a one-time lecture, I started weaving digital safety into our everyday talks:
• “Hey, I read about a scam that’s targeting teens on gaming platforms. Have you heard of it?”
• “What do you think about people who share their whole lives online? Would you do it?”
• “Have any of your friends ever been tricked by a fake account?”
2. I Taught Them to Recognize Manipulation
I told them the truth: Predators, scammers, and bad actors aren’t just looking for ‘dumb’ kids—they target smart ones who think they can’t be tricked.
We role-played scenarios:
• If someone offers you money to “help” them online, what do you do?
• If you get a weird DM from a “friend” asking for personal info, how do you handle it?
• If you see a TikTok trend encouraging risky behavior, do you trust it?
3. I Encouraged Them to Be Skeptical
I made it clear: Question everything.
• “Why does this app need access to your contacts?”
• “How do you know this person online is who they say they are?”
• “Why is this game free—what’s the catch?”
The goal wasn’t to make them paranoid. It was to make them think.
4. I Gave Them Control (With Boundaries)
Instead of banning everything, we set up rules together:
• Privacy settings on all accounts—They had to show me they understood how to lock things down.
• Screen time boundaries that made sense—They had a say in when and how they used their devices.
• “Trust but verify” rule—I didn’t monitor every move, but I did check in.
When kids feel ownership over their online safety, they’re more likely to take it seriously.
Final Thought: Don’t Just Block—Teach
Would I still use parental controls if I could go back? Yes. They’re a useful tool.
But I wouldn’t rely on them.
The biggest shift I made as a parent wasn’t in how I set up controls—it was in how I equipped my kids to make smart choices, even when I wasn’t watching.
And that’s what Be Hard to Hack is all about.
If you want real-world strategies for raising cyber-savvy kids (without playing digital whack-a-mole), subscribe below.
Because resilience beats restrictions—every time.