It happened again.
“Dad, can I get this new app? Everyone has it!”
Cue the parental hesitation.
• What is this app?
• Is it safe?
• Who’s behind it?
• Am I about to say “yes” to something that’s actually a digital dumpster fire?
And yet—I still get it wrong sometimes.
How I Screwed Up (Yes, Even Me)
I’ve spent years researching cyber safety. I know what to look for. I know the risks.
And yet, there was this one time when I thought I was being smart.
My kid asked for an app. I checked it out. Looked harmless. No sketchy headlines. No obvious red flags.
So, I caved. “Sure, but let’s go through the settings together.”
Fast forward two weeks…
• Turns out, the app had an underground chat feature that wasn’t obvious at first glance.
• Turns out, it was not as private as advertised.
• Turns out, I had just greenlit an app that had a history of being misused in the exact ways I was trying to prevent.
Oops.
The Truth? Every Parent Gets It Wrong Sometimes
Even the most tech-savvy parents can miss something. The digital world changes too fast. New updates, hidden features, shifting privacy policies—it’s like playing cybersecurity whack-a-mole.
So, here’s what I learned from my mistake:
1. Pause Before Saying Yes (or No)
Knee-jerk reactions don’t work. “No, because I said so” creates rebellion. “Yes, sure, whatever” opens the door to trouble.
Instead, try:
👉 “Cool, let’s check it out together.”
👉 “Who’s using it? How does it work?”
👉 “Let me look into it first.”
That tiny pause gives you time to think—and stops you from making a snap decision you’ll regret.
2. Dig Deeper Than the App Store Description
An app can look harmless and still have:
❌ Hidden chat features
❌ Weak privacy settings
❌ A history of security issues
❌ A user base full of not kids
Google it. Look up “[App Name] + safety concerns” and see what comes up.
Check Common Sense Media or parent forums. What are other parents saying?
Don’t just trust the marketing—trust real experiences.
3. Set a Rule: We Download Together
No sneaky downloads. If they want an app, we sit down and set it up together.
That means:
✅ Going through every setting
✅ Locking down privacy controls
✅ Talking about how they’ll use it
If an app doesn’t have strong privacy settings—or the settings are buried three menus deep—it’s probably not a great choice.
4. Assume Every App Has a Chat Feature
Apps love adding chat. Even apps that aren’t social media (looking at you, gaming platforms).
So the rule is:
📌 If it has messaging, they need to know who they’re talking to.
📌 If it has disappearing messages, assume someone will try to use that for the wrong reasons.
📌 If it has anonymous chat, it’s a hard no.
5. Let Them Make the Case
Instead of me deciding solo, I flipped it.
“You tell me—why should we get this app?”
If they can explain:
✅ What it does
✅ Why they want it
✅ How they’ll use it safely
Then we’ll consider it. This puts the responsibility on them—and forces them to think before downloading whatever their friends are using.
6. Make the App a Trial, Not a Forever Yes
A “yes” isn’t permanent.
“Let’s try it for a month. If we see any issues, we’ll delete it.”
This way, if the app turns out to be sketchy, it’s not a big dramatic fight to remove it. They knew going in that it wasn’t a permanent deal.
Final Thought: Don’t Stress Over Every Wrong Move
If I—a guy who spends his life thinking about online safety—can mess this up, you will too. And that’s okay.
The goal isn’t to never make mistakes—it’s to catch them early and adjust.
The best thing we can do? Teach our kids to think critically, ask questions, and recognize red flags.
Because at the end of the day, the best protection isn’t an app or a parental control setting—it’s a kid who knows how to spot trouble before it finds them.
At Be Hard to Hack, we help families navigate digital dangers without tech fear-mongering. Subscribe below for practical, real-world strategies to keep your kids safe online.